16 x 30 in. Graphite and acrylic on paper. 2016
To purchase, please contact Antler Gallery in Portland, OR.
I embrace myself, constantly, invisibly. There are layers of muscle, tissue and bone that come together and move in accordance with each other in ways that make up and define so much of my life. I do not believe I think first and thus exist, instead I’m quite certain there is something deeper and primordial in the body. She was here, learning and piecing together an ancient evolution, holding the patterns of millions of years before I had my first coherent thought. I grew into both my mind and body, but for some reason always regarded one as more important, having perverse expectations of what my body should be able to do or accomplish. I left her to sit too long, eat poison and deprive her of rest. I ignored her pains and her shouts. I thought she was small and below my philosophy and ideal. It took almost losing her to relearn and see all of that ancient wisdom, it took obtuse amounts of pain and healing to really begin how to learn to inhabit her. To take her in and drink her up, to learn tenderness and kindness toward her feeble bones. We all embrace ourselves, every day. Skin to muscle to tissue to bone, loosely wrapped in the angular constrictions of our mind. I’m learning to reveal myself. To open. To hold loosely and look inside, with an honest question, void of guilt or despair.